A Poetic Piss-Potpourri: In Honor of Donald Trumpstein

Global Warming

As the world heats and burns  

My mind once more returns

To more honest times past

And it comes to me at last

They called it global warming

They meant it as a warning

Of terrible things to follow

If we continued to wallow

In our carbon-fuelled delusion

Promoted by careful collusion

Among oil and auto guys

Who peddled us sweet lies

They calmed our silly fears

And we returned to our beers

Global warming? How strange

When it’s only climate change

The King of Slime

Algae in the Reflecting Pool

Is really not exactly cool

Slime in time begets more slime

And all upon the nation’s dime

Please, don’t look the other way

Or slime will cover you some day.

c.2026

 

Epstein’s Files

The wind was a source of power and cleaner energy,

The sun was working daily to make cheap electricity.

The moon was quietly giving us the power of the sea  

And the Epstein Files came riding –

Riding -- riding

The Epstein Files came riding, up to the PEDO's door.

c.2026 8647 Apologies to Alfred Noyes

How can we release the Epstein Files

When they're controlled by pedophiles?

Pedophiles with tons of money

Billions, maybe trillions, honey

Money like that equates with power

Soak Congress with a golden shower

A SCOTUS bought can be relied on 

To save the ass of Don the Con

Iran away from the Epstein Files,

Documents, piles upon piles,

Those Files will seal my fate,

Unless I show that I am great.

Now I'm stuck in Hormuz Strait,

Iran away from the Files I did,

Now I'm caught in Iran's Grid.

Trump and Vance say he's a dope

I'm sure you know I mean the pope. 

Pope Leo's ignorant of theology,

They sneer with no apology.

He prays for peace and love,

What's this crap about a dove?

Trump is Jesus, Vance a Catholic,

What a pair, they're psychopathic.

Trump! He loves me! This I know,

Cause His MAGAts tell me so.

Little ones belong to him,

They are young, He is dim.

Trump He loved me! yes I know,

When I was down at Marlargo,

Saying, with me on his knee,

“Epstein brings great kids to Me.”

Trump He loves me still today!

Lying 'bout me every day.

The Second Coming; Or, Yeats Manhandled

Things Fall Apart; the world cannot hold

On through such insanity, I am told

Pure anarchy is loosed upon the world

Torrents of blood and passionate intensity

The best show spines of little density

The Epstein Class Coming is at hand

The Rough Beast old and in command

Here's a little advisory

I will keep it cursory

Just a brief summary

Send Trump to the nursery

Before he steals our bursary.

Oops, too late.

You can't always get what you want, 

You can't always get what you need,

But if you try sometimes,

You might get what you deserve.

The Epstein Files are waiting, 

And they will make you bleed.

America Once Beautiful

Once beautiful for spacious skies,

And amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties,

Above the fruited plain,

This land is your land,

This land is my land,

At least it used to be.

Till oligarchy stole it, 

From sea to filthy sea,

America! Amerika!

Republicans stole all grace from thee.

America! Amerika!

God mend thy biggest flaw

Make Trump our Orange Master

Obey the God Damn law!

Let Trump our Great Disaster, 

Example Nature's claw.

America, Amerika!

Let’s go against the grain,

Make America Beautiful Again.

 

In 2026 we took a little trip, 

To Iran in a really bigly ship. 

We won the war in a day or two,

Gave 'em hell, I swear it's true.

Killed eyetullah the first night,

Next day they resumed the fight.

Missiles, drones a' flyin' round,

Some of 'em even hit the ground.

Then they closed the Hormuz Strait,

Cuttin' off the world's oil freight.

Now the world is mad at Trump,

They all agree he's quite a Chump. 

From the Halls of Orange TACO

To the shores of Great TOFU;

We fight for Mango Wacko

To keep PEDOTUS clean.

We are proud to claim the title

Defender of the Great Buffoon. 

Trump's Proposals rejected by Tehran,

And Hormuz Strait still closed by Iran. 

This "excursion" is costing US

Billions, but we hardly fuss.

Here in Trumpistan, on this date,

The Epstein Files still sit and wait. 

There once was a place called Iran,

In truth, a mere flash in the pan. 

I set out to end it, 

Or at least to pretend it.

Why did God create, 

Such a narrow strait?

Iran closed that gate,

Trying to seal my fate.

Damned Hormuz Strait!

It's you that I hate. 

Mine eyes have seen the gory of the coming of the Trump

He is trampling out democracy, the nasty, lousy chump.  

He hath loosed the hateful people scoured from a dump

His lies are marching on

I have seen Him light the fires of a million burning homes

They are building Him a ballroom from piles and piles of bones

I have heard His muddled sentences in ever noxious tones

His crimes are marching on 

Refrain: 

Gory, Gory, Can he screw yah?

(repeat 2 times)

His lies are marching on

I have read His Chinese bible, printed on the cheap

And sold to His supporters, a bleating bunch of sheep

From tricks and other trinkets, huge profit did He reap

My God! Trump's still marching on

He has blasted out a promise, Iran to defeat

Nothing  under heaven will get Him to retreat 

Oh, be swift, my legs to flee from Him, and His smelly feet

Trump's scent is marching on.

Gory, gory, how he'll screw yah

(Repeat twice)

His crimes are marching on

 

What is wrong with the US?

Why is it such a flaming mess?

Don't expect corrupted Congress

Trump's madness to redress.

The Supremes have even less

Inclination, to act, or impress.

Only this can end the distress:

The people must stop saying yes.

Iran away from the Epstein Files,

Documents, piles upon piles,

Those Files will seal my fate,

Unless I show that I am great.

Now I'm stuck in Hormuz Strait,

Iran away from the Files I did,

Now I'm caught in Iran's Grid.

Put some boots upon the ground!

And lots of bombs, I love the sound. 

Their boom is always most profound, 

They will help me to get crowned.

Trump is the god of cheaters, 

And all the bottom feeders.

The Dems, he says, just tax and spend,

He taxes us, gives it to his friends.

He provides bankruptcy for us, 

Then wonders why we cuss. 

Onward MAGA soldiers, marching as to War,

Trump's our Royal master, at least he was before.

Alas! Poor Donald's hurt his little toe,

Forward into battle he will never go.

At the Strait of Hormuz, Iran's hordes don't flee,

Where, oh where is NATO, to bring us victory?

I quickly won the Iran war,

Now I need $200 billion more.

Iran has closed the Hormuz Strait,

In effect it's shut the gate.

The price of oil is gonna rise,

Hit the roof and then the skies.

NATO countries refuse to join,

That's a kick right in my groin.

At least one vile crime a day,

Keeps the Epstein Files at bay.

Even more keeps them away,

What will it be today? 

Annex Cuba, I dare say,

Or put Iran back in play

Whatever helps me, anyway.

Now that I have crushed Iran,

Fixing Cuba's my next plan.

That's already in the can,

Courtesy of ME the MAN. 

I can't get Fidel, he's gone, 

But Raul will do for Don.

Forget the Epstein Files my KKKlan,

Watch as sh*t now hits the fan.

To lock up all the pedophiles,

Just release the Epstein Files.

Not redacted and in full,

Time to cut out all the bull.

One big beautiful dump,

And we can say goodbye to Trump.

Another day, another crime,

They haven't done a day of time.

Trump and Netanyahoo,

Nature's natural bits of slime.

Netanyahoo's tail wags Trump's dog,

And gets his war, the whole damn hog.

Trump and Netanyahu, you're the same, 

There's simply no one else to blame. 

You kill and starve all ages, sexes, 

And joyfully you love to vex us.

A cursed pair of poor pretenders, 

You talk as if you're our defenders.

Carrying out the will of God,

While stealing other people's sod. 

Off

There once was a Bondi named Pam,

Trump's AG she was, and a sham,

Pam went up to Capitol Hill, 

And lied in a voice most shrill, 

Pam's now in a bit of a jam.

You may be Good, you may be Pretti, 

To Trump you are no more than shitty.

A man who diddles little chillun', 

Won't fret about a little killin' 

I broke the law again today,

Blew the constitution clean away!

Congress no longer has a say,

Amerikkka's mine with which to play.

My name is Donald Trump

You know, it rhymes with dump.

The US must take Greenland now,

This Denmark must us allow.

Polar bears are a danger great,

A fact you must appreciate.

TRUMP IN DAVOS

Trump has gone to Davos, 

To turn a few centavos.

The rich and powerful are all there, 

Lining up to get their share. 

Or have they just come to see,

Trump shower them with golden pee?

They watch as things fall apart,

Do any of them have a heart?

He'll destroy Iran's theocracy,

And bring it real democracy.

At home he likes autocracy, 

Combines it with plutocracy, 

And adds corrupt bureaucracy.

It's nothing but hypocrisy,

Let's thank the idiocracy.

Who decides what's moral?

No need for any quarrel!

Trump guides our morality,

He equates it with brutality,

Cheers every new fatality,

And welcomes more mortality, 

Some call it rank insanity,

Others pure banality.

It's all a mere formality, 

Just the new US reality. 

Congress has no vitality,

And SCOTUS no legality,

BlueSky requires frugality,

Thus I end with some hilarity.

Trumpy Dumpy! Oh so Lumpy, 

How does your garden grow?

With racists and rapists, 

And a FAT ORANGE PEDO. 

Lined up in a felonious row.

I introduce Vice Charlatan Vance,

Who decided to take a big chance.

He married a liar named Shitler,

Who once he had called Herr Hitler,

What a wonderful MAGA Bromance! 

Great Fatsby achieves a new low,

Whenever he puts on a show

At His Christofascist bordello,

That pile he calls Mar a Lago,

A gold and turdish farrago.

There once was a prince name of Andy,

Who reputedly leaned towards randy.

Prince Andy fell down, 

And off went his crown,

Isn't this story just dandy?

Hey kids! Come along to Mr. Trumps’ Neighborhood

You bet you should, and I promise I’ll be good.

My friends Jeff and Ghislaine will make you tea.

We’ll have such fun at Epstein Island By the Sea.

THE BALLAD OF WHISKEY PETE

Gridley, you may fire when ready,

God man, why's your hand unsteady?

Fire the missiles, Pete's ordered it!

I must tell Hegseth they've been hit.  

But Admiral, can't you see?

They're only fishing boats to lee;

We'll blow them all to smitheries, 

Just as we did at Wounded Knee.

Gridley, dammit, move aside,

Such cowardice I can't abide.

Killing drug lords is our job,

So missiles at them we must lob.

I'll press the button and send

Them on their way to wend.

Watch them blaze across our bow, 

That's it -- the battle's over now.

Oh, damn, some are still alive!

Pete said no one should survive,

Another salvo'll do the trick,

Send them down to bad Old Nick.

Our God FOTUS will be clapping,

Lots of backs he'll be a'slapping,

Put some lefties in the pen,

Gridley, America's Great Again.

Chicago, Blues Brothers Town,

Where ICE will be a'goin' down.

Chicago, City of Broad Shoulders, 

Will not welcome rebel soldiers.

Chicago, Noble Windy City,

Will crush Orange Turd the Shitty.

Chicago, Chicago, Toddling Town,

Will in its river fascists drown.

The Epstein Hoax is such a Joke!

Says Agent Trump a'snortin' coke,

I know the truth believe you me,

Ask Madame Maxwell, yes siree, 

At Epstein Island by the Sea.

The FBI hired me to show, 

That Epstein ran a bordello.   

I love tariffs, they're so good for me, 

Slap them on all countries they are my enemy.

Tariffs with my coffee, tariffs with my tea,

Send me golden trinkets to match my golden pee, 

I love to threaten tariffs when I am on TV. 

I like my women on the younger side,

12 to 17 I can abide.

Epstein stole the best from me,

But still I had a bigly spree,

At Epstein Island by the sea.

There once was a FOTUS most arrogant

Who spewed nonsense incredibly arrant

His mind is quite broken 

His knowledge mere token

And his brain like a wrinkled currant.  

This fellow named Trump is quite comical

With words he is not economical

They flow from his rump 

Like a fast-flowing dump

What a marvel he is anatomical.

God has sent us a wonderful gift

To save us all from devilish drift

He may be a rapist,

A crook, and a racist

But God knows we're not very swift.

Trump's a fascist his critics declare.

Trump says my MAGATS don't care.

In fact, they quite like it.

No way shall I drop it,

When my fascism they all share.

There once was a FOTUS named Trump,
Who called the White House a dump.

"There's no golden potty

It's driving me dotty
I guess I will just have a hump."

Trump wanted to buy Greenland I've heard.

Denmark said, "that's completely absurd."

His deal thus upended, 

Herr Trump was offended, 

And acted once more like a turd.

Awful somethings happening here

But what they are ain't exactly clear

There's Trump the BIG Mouth over there

Telling me I got to take care

I think it's time we stop

Trump, stop that sound

Everybody look, we're going down

There's battle lines being drawn

We're all right and Trumpkins are wrong

Smart people speaking their minds

MAGAts speaking from their behinds

Paranoia strikes deep

Into our life it done creep

It began when you were afraid

Step out of line, ICEMAN come and shoot you today

Trump, Manifest Destiny, and the Epstein Files.

[Image: "American Progress" by John Gast, 1872]

The term "Manifest Destiny" describes the belief of many 19th century Americans that they were destined to rule the North American continent; that they had a "divine right" to dominate the lands between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. The idea, if not the term, was unabashedly imperialist but even today, many political commentators seem to shy away from calling US expansion "imperialist." Donald Trump is a firm believer in Manifest Destiny, even if he knows little if anything about its history.

The phrase "Manifest Destiny" came into use after 1845, when newspaper editor and expansionist advocate John O'Sullivan used it. The timing was not coincidental. The US was in the process of annexing Texas, which had gained independence from Mexico in 1836. The US would soon be at war with Mexico, a war that was driven by expansionist ambitions. 

The plunder included what are now the states of California, Arizona, and New Mexico, and parts of Nevada, Utah, and Colorado. Some expansionists, including Jane Cazneau, who used the term "manifest destiny" before O'Sullivan, advocated the annexation of the rest of Mexico. 

That never happened, mainly because Manifest Destiny was a thoroughly racist ideology. It envisioned an American empire made up of white Europeans (plus their African slaves). Mexico was inhabited by large numbers of Native Americans (AKA "Indians") and people of mixed race who could not be part of the divine American mission.

The same thinking operates today. Trump has never spoken of annexing Mexico, because it is full of the sort of "criminal" and "inferior" people he claims are threatening the US. He has, however, repeatedly spoken of a US annexation of Canada, a predominately European white country. 

Advocates of manifest destiny also viewed Canada as a an area ripe for US expansion. Some expansionists demanded that Great Britain cede all of the Northwest Oregon Territory up to the border of Alaska. |Their cry was "54-40 or Fight". War threatened in 1846 but was avoided when the two countries agreed to a border on the 49th parallel. The peaceful resolution was partly due to the fact that the US was about to embark on the war against Mexico. To fight the British Empire at the same time would have been foolhardy. Of course, no one consulted the Native Americans who lived in the region.

Although the term "Manifest Destiny" emerged during the 1840s, the idea was expressed much earlier in American history, indeed at the very birth of the nation. It was annunciated clearly by William Henry Drayton of South Carolina in 1776. In that year, Cherokee bands attacked European settlers encroaching on their lands in the upcountry of the Carolinas and Virginia. The war that followed ended in a crushing defeat for the Cherokee. Many of their towns were destroyed, and they lost much of their historic land.

Drayton, a fervent advocate of American independence, viewed the war as an opportunity. At the time, he was serving as the Chief Justice of the newly independent state South Carolina. Drayton proposed that the defeated Cherokee be "extirpated" as a nation, that their lands "become the property of the American public," and that captives "become the property of the taker."

Drayton declared that the new nation had a divine mission. God had chosen the "American Empire" as his tool to advance the cause of liberty. The Lord had previously chosen Britain for this mission, but the British government had violated divine intentions by "trying to enslave the American people." Like other "Patriot" slaveholders, Drayton failed to see the irony in his political rhetoric. 

In his role as Chief Justice, Drayton also recommended the suspension of due process. A state court charged fourteen "Tories" with treason and sentenced them to death. Their "crime" had been fighting with the Cherokee against the new independent states. Drayton commented that he would have hanged them without a trial, thus advocating what soon became known as "lynching." The sitting "President" of South Carolina, John Rutledge, pardoned them. 

During the War for Independence, partisans on both sides employed lynchings. Nowhere was it more common than the backcountry of South Carolina. Among those lynched were blacks who supported the British, something Rutledge did support. During the 19th and early 20th centuries, blacks became the main victims of lynchings. 

Drayton may not have used the term "manifest destiny" but his statements and actions show that the idea a divine mission was present from the infancy of the American Republic. The popularity of his ideas and methods was an unfortunate omen for the new nation. 

Like Trump, Drayton employed populist rhetoric to convey his ideas of a divine mission to the public. Trump may not use the term "manifest destiny" either, but he is echoing it when he says that Greenland and Canada should belong to the US. It is also noteworthy that Trump has not threatened to annex Mexico, because it is supposedly inhabited by the sort of "bad people," he has sworn to deport from the USA. 

That may change. In his latest buccaneering ventures, Trump has threatened to annex or destroy various countries, including Venezuela, Cuba, and Iran. His motive in these cases seems to be to distract people from his numerous appearances in the Epstein Files. But appealing to a "divine mission" of the USA helps him with his gullible base.

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The Boy Who Cried Wolf; Or, A Pandemic of Lies

The people of the village of Great Cockup were afraid of wolves. In order to protect the village against wolves, they hired a new Chief Wolf-watcher. The last one, they decided, was not tough enough for the job, which was to keep an eye out for wolves and warn the village if any were nearby. This despite the fact the last one had gotten rid of one of largest wolves they had ever seen. The villagers called the new Chief Wolf-watcher "The Boy." Truth be told, he did act like a twelve year old. An unusual choice for such a job, one might think. But when he applied for the position, he convinced the villagers with his supreme confidence in himself. "I'm not afraid of wolves," he said. "I just look at them hard and poof, they're gone, tails between their legs. You can't hire a better Chief Wolf-watcher than me. I'm the best you'll ever have." Days went by and no wolves appeared. The Boy grew bored. One day he jumped up and cried "Eureka! I have an idea," he said. "The best idea." He ran into the village green, shouting "Wolf! Mexican Wolf!" The villagers came out, holding pitchforks, clubs, and other weapons. "Where's the wolf?" they asked. The Boy laughed. "There is no wolf. I was just checking to see if you were ready. Go home." The Boy was highly pleased with himself. "What fun. I must do that again." And he did. His false warnings became routine. Sometimes he said the wolf was from Haiti or Venezuela, other times that they were migrants from far away countries like China. The villagers always came out to chase off the wolves, and the Boy laughed and told them to go home. One day, when he cried "Wolf" for fun, the villagers did not respond. They had grown tired of his false warnings. The Boy turned to go back to his post. As he walked away from the green, he was confronted by a huge, powerful wolf. The Boy looked at the wolf and said, "You are not real. You're a hoax." The wolf moved closer and growled. "OK, maybe you're real, but I can handle you. There's only one of you." The Boy made his most menacing face. Truly a marvel to behold. The wolf showed no fear. He moved closer, growling and snarling.

Meanwhile, other wolves were gathering around the edge of the village. When the Boy spied them, he cursed. "Why didn't someone warn me about this plague of wolves? The boy ran onto the village green and cried "Wolf!" But on this occasion, no one came out of their houses. The Boy ran away to his country mansion, Little Penistone. From news reports he learned that many of the villagers and sheep had been eaten by the wolves. In response, he bragged about his brilliant handling of the wolf plague. How he had never underestimated it. How his warnings had saved many lives. One day he wandered back to Great Cockup. It was eerily quiet. One by one the villagers who had survived came out. They were holding pitchforks, clubs, and axes. The Boy ran, but he was too slow....