A Poetic Piss-Potpourri: In Honor of Donald Trumpstein

Iran away from the Epstein Files,

Documents, piles upon piles,

Those Files will seal my fate,

Unless I show that I am great.

Now I'm stuck in Hormuz Strait,

Iran away from the Files I did,

Now I'm caught in Iran's Grid.

Trump and Vance say he's a dope

I'm sure you know I mean the pope. 

Pope Leo's ignorant of theology,

They sneer with no apology.

He prays for peace and love,

What's this crap about a dove?

Trump is Jesus, Vance a Catholic,

What a pair, they're psychopathic.

The Noble Duke of York

He had 10,000 men

He marched them up a hill

And marched them down again

Then had sex with Virginia Giuffre.

Humpty Trumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Trumpty had a great fall

All Charles horses and all Charles men

Couldn't put Trumpty together again.

The Third Coming Kings Fall Apart; the Ballroom Cannot Hold More than one lone gunman, I am told Pure anarchy is loosed upon the world With much blood and passionate intensity The best show spine of little density The Epstein Class Coming is at hand The Rough Beast born and in command

Here's a little advisory

I will keep it cursory

Just a brief summary

Send Trump to the nursery

Before he steals our bursary.

You can't always get what you want, 

You can't always get what you need,

But if you try sometimes,

You might get what you deserve.

The Epstein Files are waiting, 

And they will make you bleed.

America Once Beautiful

Once beautiful for spacious skies,

And amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties,

Above the fruited plain,

This land is your land,

This land is my land,

At least it used to be.

Till oligarchy stole it, 

From sea to filthy sea,

America! Amerika!

God took his grace from thee.

America! Amerika!

God mend thy biggest flaw

Make Trump our Orange Master

Obey the God Damn law!

Let Trump our Great Disaster, 

Example Nature's claw.

America, Amerika!

Let’s go against the grain,

Make America Beautiful Again.

 

In 2026 we took a little trip, 

To Iran in a really bigly ship. 

We won the war in a day or two,

Gave 'em hell, I swear it's true.

Killed eyetollah the first night,

Next day they resumed the fight.

Missiles, drones a' flyin' round,

Some of 'em even hit the ground.

Then they closed the Hormuz Strait,

Cuttin' off the world's oil freight.

Now the world is mad at Trump,

They all agree he's quite a Chump. 

From the Halls of Orange TACO

To the shores of far TOFU;

We fight for Mango Wacko

To keep our POTUS clean;

Although he's quite cuckoo.

We are proud to claim the title

Defender of the Great Poltroon. 

Trump's Peace Proposal's rejected by Iran,

Hungary says goodbye! to Trump's Orban,

The war and trade disruption will now resume,

The oil roller coaster will continue we presume.

Meanwhile, in Trumpistan, on this date,

The Epstein Files sit patiently and wait. 

There once was a place called Iran,

In truth, a mere flash in the pan. 

I set out to end it, 

Or at least to pretend it.

Why did God create, 

Such a narrow strait?

Iran closed that gate,

Trying to seal my fate.

Damned Hormuz Strait!

It's you that I hate. 

Mine eyes have seen the gory of the coming of the Trump

He is trampling out democracy, the nasty, lousy chump.  

He hath loosed the hateful people scoured from a dump

His lies are marching on

I have seen Him light the fires of a million burning homes

They have builded Him a ballroom from piles and piles of bones

I have heard His muddled sentence in ever noxious tones

His crimes are marching on 

Refrain: 

Gory, Gory, Can he screw yah?

(repeat 2 times)

His lies are marching on

I have read His Chinese bible, printed on the cheap

And sold to His supporters, a bleating bunch of sheep

From tricks and other trinkets, huge profit did He reap

My God! Trump's still marching on

He has blasted out a promise, Iran to defeat

Nothing  under heaven will get Him to retreat 

Oh, be swift, my legs to flee from Him, and His smelly feet

Trump's scent is marching on.

Gory, gory, how he'll screw yah

(Repeat twice)

His crimes are marching on

 

What is wrong with the US?

Why is it such a flaming mess?

Don't expect corrupted Congress

Trump's madness to redress.

The Supremes have even less

Inclination, to act, or impress.

Only this can end the distress:

The people must stop saying yes.

Iran away from the Epstein Files,

Documents, piles upon piles,

Those Files will seal my fate,

Unless I show that I am great.

Now I'm stuck in Hormuz Strait,

Iran away from the Files I did,

Now I'm caught in Iran's Grid.

Put some boots upon the ground!

And lots of bombs, I love the sound. 

Their boom is always most profound, 

They will help me to get crowned.

Trump is the god of cheaters, 

And all the bottom feeders.

The Dems, he says, just tax and spend,

He taxes us, gives it to his friends.

He provides bankruptcy for us, 

And wonders why we cuss. 

Onward MAGA soldiers, marching as to War,

Trump's our Royal master, at least he was before.

Alas! Poor Donald's hurt his little toe,

Forward into battle he will never go.

At the Strait of Hormuz, Iran's hordes don't flee,

Where, oh where is NATO, to bring us victory?

I quickly won the Iran war,

Now I need $200 billion more.

Iran has closed Hormuz Strait,

In effect it's shut the gate.

The price of oil is gonna rise,

Hit the roof and then the skies.

Other countries refuse to join,

That's a kick right in my groin.

At least one vile crime a day,

Keeps the Epstein Files at bay.

Even more keeps them away,

What will it be today? 

How can I win again today,

And toss Epstein's Hoax away?

Attack Iran again I say!

That's the bestest way,

To make MY Big and Beautiful Day.

Now that I have crushed Iran,

Fixing Cuba's my next plan.

That's already in the can,

Courtesy of ME the MAN.

Forget the Epstein Files my KKKlan,

Watch as sh*t now hits the fan.

To lock up all the pedophiles,

Just release the Epstein Files.

Not redacted and in full,

Time to cut out all the bull.

One big beautiful dump,

And we can say goodbye to Trump.

Another day, another crime,

They haven't done a day of time.

Trump and Netanyahoo,

Nature's natural bits of slime.

Netanyahoo's tail wags Trump's dog,

And gets his war, the whole damn hog.

Trump and Netanyahu, you're the same, 

There's simply no one else to blame. 

You kill and starve all ages, sexes, 

And joyfully you love to vex us.

A cursed pair of poor pretenders, 

You talk as if you're our defenders.

Carrying out the will of God,

While stealing other people's sod. 

Off

There once was a Bondi named Pam,

Trump's AG she was, and a sham,

Pam went up to Capitol Hill, 

And lied in a voice most shrill, 

Pam's now in a bit of a jam.

You may be Good, you may be Pretti, 

To Trump you are no more than shitty.

A man who diddles little chillun', 

Won't fret about a little killin' 

I broke the law again today,

Blew the constitution clean away!

Congress no longer has a say,

Amerikkka's mine with which to play.

My name is Donald Trump

You know, it rhymes with dump.

The US must take Greenland now,

This Denmark must us allow.

Polar bears are a danger great,

A fact you must appreciate.

TRUMP IN DAVOS

Trump has gone to Davos, 

To turn a few centavos.

The rich and powerful are all there, 

Lining up to get their share. 

Or have they just come to see,

Trump shower them with golden pee?

They watch as things fall apart,

Do any of them have a heart?

He'll destroy Iran's theocracy,

And bring it real democracy.

At home he likes autocracy, 

Combines it with plutocracy, 

And adds corrupt bureaucracy.

It's nothing but hypocrisy,

Let's thank the idiocracy.

Who decides what's moral?

No need for any quarrel!

Trump guides our morality,

He equates it with brutality,

Cheers every new fatality,

And welcomes more mortality, 

Some call it rank insanity,

Others pure banality.

It's all a mere formality, 

Just the new US reality. 

Congress has no vitality,

And SCOTUS no legality,

BlueSky requires frugality,

Thus I end with some hilarity.

Trumpy Dumpy! Oh so Lumpy, 

How does your garden grow?

With racists and rapists, 

And a FAT ORANGE PEDO. 

Lined up in a felonious row.

I introduce Vice Charlatan Vance,

Who decided to take a big chance.

He married a liar named Shitler,

Who once he had called Herr Hitler,

What a wonderful MAGA Bromance! 

Great Fatsby achieves a new low,

Whenever he puts on a show

At His Christofascist bordello,

That pile he calls Mar a Lago,

A gold and turdish farrago.

There once was a prince name of Andy,

Who reputedly leaned towards randy.

Prince Andy fell down, 

And off went his crown,

Isn't this story just dandy?

Hey kids! Come along to Mr. Trumps’ Neighborhood

You bet you should, and I promise I’ll be good.

My friends Jeff and Ghislaine will make you tea.

We’ll have such fun at Epstein Island By the Sea.

THE BALLAD OF WHISKEY PETE

Gridley, you may fire when ready,

God man, why's your hand unsteady?

Fire the missiles, Pete's ordered it!

I must tell Hegseth they've been hit.  

But Admiral, can't you see?

They're only fishing boats to lee;

We'll blow them all to smitheries, 

Just as we did at Wounded Knee.

Gridley, dammit, move aside,

Such cowardice I can't abide.

Killing drug lords is our job,

So missiles at them we must lob.

I'll press the button and send

Them on their way to wend.

Watch them blaze across our bow, 

That's it -- the battle's over now.

Oh, damn, some are still alive!

Pete said no one should survive,

Another salvo'll do the trick,

Send them down to bad Old Nick.

Our God FOTUS will be clapping,

Lots of backs he'll be a'slapping,

Put some lefties in the pen,

Gridley, America's Great Again.

Chicago, Blues Brothers Town,

Where ICE will be a'goin' down.

Chicago, City of Broad Shoulders, 

Will not welcome rebel soldiers.

Chicago, Noble Windy City,

Will crush Orange Turd the Shitty.

Chicago, Chicago, Toddling Town,

Will in its river fascists drown.

The Epstein Hoax is such a Joke!

Says Agent Trump a'snortin' coke,

I know the truth believe you me,

Ask Madame Maxwell, yes siree, 

At Epstein Island by the Sea.

The FBI hired me to show, 

That Epstein ran a bordello.   

I love tariffs, they're so good for me, 

Slap them on all countries, they are my enemy.

Tariffs with my coffee, tariffs with my tea,

Send me golden trinkets to match my golden pee, 

I love to threaten tariffs when I am on TV. 

I like my women on the younger side,

12 to 17 I can abide.

Epstein stole the best from me,

But still I had a bigly spree,

At Epstein Island by the sea.

There once was a FOTUS most arrogant

Who spewed nonsense incredibly arrant

His mind is quite broken 

His knowledge mere token

And his brain like a wrinkled currant.  

This fellow named Trump is quite comical

With words he is not economical

They flow from his rump 

Like a fast-flowing dump

What a marvel he is anatomical.

God has sent us a wonderful gift

To save us all from devilish drift

He may be a rapist,

A crook, and a racist

But God knows we're not very swift.

Trump's a fascist his critics declare.

Trump says my MAGATS don't care.

In fact, they quite like it.

No way shall I drop it,

When my fascism they all share.

There once was a FOTUS named Trump,
Who called the White House a dump.

"There's no golden potty

It's driving me dotty
I guess I will just have a hump."

Trump wanted to buy Greenland I've heard.

Denmark said, "that's completely absurd."

His deal thus upended, 

Herr Trump was offended, 

And acted once more like a turd.

Punch Goes to War: The End of Appeasement

As fears of another World War approached in the late 1930s, the British satirical magazine Punch published cartoons that depict the shift in Britain against the policy of appeasement of the fascist dictators, particularly of Hitler. A few of the cartoons are included here.

In "Still Hope" below, the artist depicts British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain as an angel of peace flying to Germany at the time of the Munich Crisis in September 1938. Hitler was demanding that Czechoslovakia cede the Sudetenland, an area bordering Germany inhabited by a largely German population. 

The demand followed hard on the heels of the German occupation of Austria in May 1938. Hitler had justified that annexation on the grounds that the Austrians were Germans. Hitler himself had been born in Austria. The Western Allies, France and Britain, did nothing, as they had done nothing when Hitler broke several sections of the Versailles Treaty that had ended World War I.

"Still Hope" reflects the view that appeasement of Hitler might yet work. Appeasement flowed from the belief that Germany had legitimate grievances stemming from the peace settlement after the Great War of 1914-18. A few concessions to Hitler, appeasers argued, could satisfy him and preserve European peace. 

British public opinion generally favored appeasement at this point. Few people wanted another Great War, and many believed Germany had been treated too harshly after the First World War. At Munich, Chamberlain and the French Premier Edouard Daladier agreed to Hitler's demands. Chamberlain returned to Britain claiming he had secured "peace for our time."

That time proved short. Within a few months, Germany occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia and began making territorial demands on Poland. The British and French governments finally stiffened, announcing they would defend Poland against German attack. 

The shift is reflected in "An Old Story Retold" from the Spring of 1939. Hitler assures his skeptical ally Mussolini that the British, represented by the dog guarding the gate, are all bark and no bite. The artist is Bernard Partridge, who had done many cartoons for Punch during World War I.

In "-- -- and the Seven Dwarves" the same artist, Bernard Partridge, presents Hitler in the guise of Snow White, the title character of Disney's popular animated film of 1938. "Adolf White" already has "Czechy" in hand and is beckoning to the other six dwarves to follow him. Each of the dwarves represents one of the states of Eastern Europe.

The next cartoon, "Popular Misconceptions (in Germany) -- the English," is also from April 1939. The artist is reacting to German accusations that the English are trigger happy warmongers. 

Another cartoon from early 1939 "Germany Shall Never Be Encircled" portrays Hitler as a megalomaniac intent on world conquest. Hitler was ready for war over Poland but his generals insisted he avoid the First World War scenario: a two-front war with France and Britain in the west and Russia (now the Soviet Union) in the east. 

Hitler often ignored his generals' advice but in this case, he sent a delegation to Moscow, headed by Foreign Minister von Ribbentrop. The British and French were already wooing Stalin to help defend Poland. "The Calculating Bear" (Russia) is considering the offers made by both sides.

In the end, Stalin accepted Hitler's offer: stay out of the war and help yourself to eastern Poland. The Nazi-Soviet Pact of August 1939 was quickly followed by the German invasion of Poland on September 1. Britain and France declared war on Germany two days later. It did nothing to help the Poles, whose armies were overwhelmed swiftly by the German Blitzkrieg, then by Soviet invasion from the east

In the Spring of 1940, German armies overran much of Western Europe, including France. Britain now faced Germany alone, as well as its ally Italy, which entered the war once France's defeat was certain. 

During the battle for France, Winston Churchill, who had long opposed appeasement, had replaced Chamberlain as Prime Minister. In the summer and autumn of 1940, Britain narrowly survived the air war known as the Battle of Britain and avoided invasion. 

As the new year 1941 dawned, Punch published the rather optimistic cartoon, "The Dragon-Slayer," with Churchill as the title character. One would almost think the war was near its finish, but it had more than four horrific years to run. Churchill himself said of the British victory in the Battle of Britain, that it was "not the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning." So it proved.

As it happened, 1941 was to prove a turning point for Britain, as it acquired powerful allies. In June Hitler broke his pact with Stalin and invaded Russia. In December German's ally Japan attacked the United States base at Pearl Harbor. Hitler declared war on the USA.

For an interesting, blackly comic take on the events leading to World War II, I recommend: Eric Vuillard, The Order of the Day (2017). 

Art of the First World War: Otto Dix

Otto Dix (1891-1969) was one of the great artists of the early 20th century, renowned for his harsh modernist, yet realistic depictions of the First World War and postwar German society under the Weimar Republic.

Dix volunteered for military service when war broke out in 1914. An enthusiastic soldier at first, he painted himself as a ferocious "Nietzschean Warrior."

As time went by Dix's enthusiasm for the war dimmed and was replaced by a sense of abject horror, reflected in his "Self-Portrait as Target," with the buttons on his hat reminiscent of the bullseye on a paper target.

Dix's war paintings are among the most ghastly and ghostly done by any artist, reminiscent of Goya's paintings of the Spanish war of liberation against Napoleonic France. One example is the apocalyptic "War." This is part of a larger triptych.

Two versions of "The Wounded Soldier" convey the haunting madness and futility of the war, as does the memento mori "The Skull."

Dix's postwar paintings of Weimar German society often emphasized the horrendous price paid by the nation's military personnel, as in "War Cripples.".

Dix juxtaposed those who had done well out the war and those who endured untold suffering in woks like "Prague Street" with the woman rushing past cripples and its hints of a rising antisemitism.

The triptych "Metropolis" features contrast the suffering of the veterans with the degenerate revelry of  the wealthy, uncaring bourgeoisie.

The Nazis hated Dix's paintings as counter-productive to their militaristic and nationalistic goals. They destroyed many of them after exhibiting them in an exhibition called "Degenerate Art."