A Trump Poetic Piss-Potpourri

Observe the vice charlatan Vance,

Who decided to take a big chance.

He joined with a liar named Shitler,

Who once he had called Herr Hitler,

And together they went to the dance.

Great Fatsby achieved a new low

By putting on a mega-tacky show,

At His Christian-themed bordello,

That pile he calls Mar a Lago,

A truly real and genuine farrago.

There once was a prince name of Andy,

Who reputedly leaned towards randy.

Prince Andy fell down, 

And off went his crown,

Isn't this story just dandy?

Hey kids! come along to Mr. Trumps’ Neighborhood

You bet you should, and I promise I’ll be good.

My friends Jeff and Ghislaine will make you free.

We’ll have such fun at Epstein Island By the Sea.

Zionists and Nazis, you're the same, 

There's simply no one else to blame. 

You kill and starve all ages, sexes, 

And joyfully you love to vex us.

A cursed bunch of poor pretenders, 

You talk as if you're our defenders.

Carrying out the will of God,

While stealing other people's sod. 

Off

Gridley, you may fire when ready,

God man, why's your hand unsteady?

Fire the missiles, I order you!

Send them up and on and through!

But Captain, can't you see?

They're only fishing boats to lee;

We'll blow them all to smitheries, 

Just as we did at Wounded Knee.

Gridley, dammit, move aside,

Such cowardice I can't abide.

Killing drug lords is our job,

So missiles at them we must lob.

I'll press the button and send

Them on their way to wend.

Watch them blaze across our bow, 

That's it -- the battle's over now.

Our God POTUS will be clapping,

Lots of backs he'll be slapping, 

Put some lefties in the pen,

Gridley, America's great again

Look! Up in the sky! 

Is it a bird? 

Is it a plane?

No, its Super-King!

He's just the thing!

Come to save us

From evil lefties.

Oh, shit!  

Behold! The Epstein Files,

Chock full of pedophiles.

What rhymes with orange?

Could it be brown?

Chicago, Blues Brothers Town,

Where ICE will be a'goin' down.

Chicago, City of Broad Shoulders, 

Will not welcome rebel soldiers.

Chicago, Noble Windy City,

Will crush Orange Turd the Shitty.

Chicago, Chicago, Toddling Town,

Will in its river fascists drown.

The Epstein Hoax is such a Joke!

Says Agent Trump a'snortin' Coke,

I know the truth believe you me,

Ask Madame Maxwell, yes siree, 

At Epstein Island by the Sea.

The FBI hired me to show, 

That Epstein ran a bordello.   

I love tariffs, they're so good for me, 

Slap them on all countries, they are my enemy.

Tariffs with my coffee, tariffs with my tea,

Send me golden trinkets to match my golden pee, 

I love to threaten tariffs when I am on TV. 

I like my women on the younger side,

13 to 17 are ones I can abide.

Epstein stole the best from me,

But I still had a bigly spree,

At Epstein Island by the sea.

There once was a POTUS most arrogant

Who spewed nonsense incredibly arrant

His mind is quite broken 

His knowledge mere token

And his brain like a wrinkled currant.  

This fellow named Trump is quite comical

With words he is not economical

They flow from his rump 

Like a fast-flowing dump

What a marvel he is anatomical.

God has sent us a wonderful gift
To save us all from devilish drift
He may be a rapist,
A crook, and a racist
But God knows we're not very swift.
(Thanks to Trumpgelicals for inspiring this poem)

Trump's a fascist his critics declare

Trump says my MAGATS don't care

In fact, they quite like it

No way shall I drop it

When my fascism they all share.

There once was a POTUS named Trump
Who called the White House a dump.

"There's no golden potty

It's driving me dotty
I guess I will just have a hump."

Trump wanted to buy Greenland I've heard.

Denmark said, "that's completely absurd."

His deal thus upended, 

Her Trump was offended, 

And acted once more like a turd.