There once was a place called Iran,
In truth, a mere flash in the pan.
I set out to end it, or at least to pretend it.
Why did God create, such a narrow strait?
Iran closed that gate and sealed my fate,
Damn that libtard Hormuz Strait!
It's you that I hate.
What’s wrong with the US? Why’s it such a flaming mess? Don't look to Congress. For any kind of redress. The Supremes don't impress, They are even less.
Iran away from the Epstein Files,
Documents, piled upon piles,
Documents will seal my fate,
Unless I show that I am great.
Now I'm stuck in Hormuz Strait,
Iran away from the Files I did,
Now I'm caught in Iran's Grid.
Put some boots upon the ground!
And lots of bombs, I love the sound,
Their boom is most profound,
They will to help me to get crowned.
IN 2026 we took a little trip,
To Iran in a really bigly ship.
We won the war in a day or two,
Gave 'em hell I swear it's true.
Killed their 'tollah the first night,
Next day they resumed the fight.
Missiles, drones a' flying round,
Some of 'em even hit the ground.
Then they closed the Hormuz Strait,
Cuttin' off the world's oil freight.
Now the world's mad at Trump,
They all agree he's quite a chump.
Trump is the god of cheaters,
And all the bottom feeders.
The Dems, he says, just tax and spend,
He taxes us, gives it to his friends.
He provides bankruptcy for us,
And wonders why we cuss.
Onward MAGA Soldiers, marching as to War,
Trump our Royal Master, going on before.
Alas! Poor Donald's, hurt his little toe,
Forward into battle, he will never go.
At the Straits of Hormuz, Iran's hordes don't flee,
Guess we might need NATO, to bring us victory.
I quickly won the Iran war,
Now I need $200 billion more.
Iran has closed Hormuz Strait,
In effect it's shut the gate.
The price of oil is gonna rise,
Hit the roof and then the skies.
Other countries refuse to join,
That's a kick right in my groin.
At least one vile crime a day,
Keeps the Epstein Files at bay.
Even more keeps them away,
What will it be today?
How can I win again today,
And toss Epstein's Hoax away?
Attack Iran again I say!
That's the bestest way,
To make MY Big and Beautiful Day.
Now that I have crushed Iran,
Fixing Cuba's my next plan.
That's already in the can,
Courtesy of ME the MAN.
Forget the Epstein Files my KKKlan,
Watch as sh*t now hits the fan.
To lock up all the pedophiles,
Just release the Epstein Files.
Not redacted and in full,
Time to cut out all the bull.
One big beautiful dump,
And we can say goodbye to Trump.
Another day, another crime,
They haven't done a day of time.
Trump and Netanyahoo,
Nature's natural bits of slime.
Netanyahoo's tail wags Trump's dog,
And gets his war, the whole damn hog.
Trump and Netanyahu, you're the same,
There's simply no one else to blame.
You kill and starve all ages, sexes,
And joyfully you love to vex us.
A cursed pair of poor pretenders,
You talk as if you're our defenders.
Carrying out the will of God,
While stealing other people's sod.
Off
There once was a Bondi named Pam,
Trump's AG she was, and a sham,
Pam went up to Capitol Hill,
And lied in a voice most shrill,
Pam's now in a bit of a jam.
You may be Good, you may be Pretti,
To Trump you are no more than shitty.
A man who diddles little chillun',
Won't fret about a little killin'
I broke the law again today,
Blew the constitution clean away!
Congress no longer has a say,
Amerikkka is mine with which to play.
My name is Donald Trump
You know, it rhymes with dump.
The US must take Greenland now,
This Denmark must us allow.
Polar bears are a danger great,
A fact you must appreciate.
TRUMP IN DAVOS
Trump has gone to Davos,
To turn a few centavos.
The rich and powerful are all there,
Lining up to get their share.
Or have they just come to see,
Trump shower them with golden pee?
They watch as things fall apart,
Do any of them have a heart?
He'll destroy Iran's theocracy,
And bring it real democracy.
At home he likes autocracy,
Combines it with plutocracy,
And adds corrupt bureaucracy.
It's nothing but hypocrisy,
Let's thank the idiocracy.
Who decides what's moral?
No need for any quarrel!
Trump guides our morality,
He equates it with brutality,
Cheers every new fatality,
And welcomes more mortality,
Some call it rank insanity,
Others pure banality.
It's all a mere formality,
Just the new US reality.
Congress has no vitality,
And SCOTUS no legality,
BlueSky requires frugality,
Thus I end with some hilarity.
Trumpy Dumpy! Oh so Lumpy,
How does your garden grow?
With racists and rapists,
And a FAT ORANGE PEDO.
Lined up in a felonious row.
I introduce Vice Charlatan Vance,
Who decided to take a big chance.
He married a liar named Shitler,
Who once he had called Herr Hitler,
What a wonderful MAGA Bromance!
Great Fatsby achieves a new low,
Whenever he puts on a show
At His Christofascist bordello,
That pile he calls Mar a Lago,
A gold and turdish farrago.
There once was a prince name of Andy,
Who reputedly leaned towards randy.
Prince Andy fell down,
And off went his crown,
Isn't this story just dandy?
Hey kids! Come along to Mr. Trumps’ Neighborhood
You bet you should, and I promise I’ll be good.
My friends Jeff and Ghislaine will make you tea.
We’ll have such fun at Epstein Island By the Sea.
THE BALLAD OF WHISKEY PETE
Gridley, you may fire when ready,
God man, why's your hand unsteady?
Fire the missiles, Pete's ordered it!
I must tell Hegseth they've been hit.
But Admiral, can't you see?
They're only fishing boats to lee;
We'll blow them all to smitheries,
Just as we did at Wounded Knee.
Gridley, dammit, move aside,
Such cowardice I can't abide.
Killing drug lords is our job,
So missiles at them we must lob.
I'll press the button and send
Them on their way to wend.
Watch them blaze across our bow,
That's it -- the battle's over now.
Oh, damn, some are still alive!
Pete said no one should survive,
Another salvo'll do the trick,
Send them down to bad Old Nick.
Our God FOTUS will be clapping,
Lots of backs he'll be a'slapping,
Put some lefties in the pen,
Gridley, America's Great Again.
Chicago, Blues Brothers Town,
Where ICE will be a'goin' down.
Chicago, City of Broad Shoulders,
Will not welcome rebel soldiers.
Chicago, Noble Windy City,
Will crush Orange Turd the Shitty.
Chicago, Chicago, Toddling Town,
Will in its river fascists drown.
The Epstein Hoax is such a Joke!
Says Agent Trump a'snortin' Coke,
I know the truth believe you me,
Ask Madame Maxwell, yes siree,
At Epstein Island by the Sea.
The FBI hired me to show,
That Epstein ran a bordello.
I love tariffs, they're so good for me,
Slap them on all countries, they are my enemy.
Tariffs with my coffee, tariffs with my tea,
Send me golden trinkets to match my golden pee,
I love to threaten tariffs when I am on TV.
I like my women on the younger side,
12 to 17 I can abide.
Epstein stole the best from me,
But still I had a bigly spree,
At Epstein Island by the sea.
There once was a FOTUS most arrogant
Who spewed nonsense incredibly arrant
His mind is quite broken
His knowledge mere token
And his brain like a wrinkled currant.
This fellow named Trump is quite comical
With words he is not economical
They flow from his rump
Like a fast-flowing dump
What a marvel he is anatomical.
God has sent us a wonderful gift
To save us all from devilish drift
He may be a rapist,
A crook, and a racist
But God knows we're not very swift.
Trump's a fascist his critics declare.
Trump says my MAGATS don't care.
In fact, they quite like it.
No way shall I drop it,
When my fascism they all share.
Who called the White House a dump.
I guess I will just have a hump."
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