At least one vile crime a day,
Keeps the Epstein Files at bay.
But even more will keep them away,
What will it be today?
How can I win again today,
And kick the Epstein Hoax away?
Invading Venezuela's the way,
To make a Big and Beautiful Day.
I broke the law again this day,
Blew the constitution clean away,
Congress no longer has a say,
Amerika is mine with which to play.
Uptown, Downtown,
All around Epstein,
A tisket a tasket,
Trump's in a basket.
All fall down!
If he doesn't go to jail,
He will damn sure go to Hail.
Trumpy Dumpy! Oh so Lumpy,
How does your garden grow?
With racists and rapists,
And a FAT ORANGE PEDO.
Lined up in a felonious row.
Don and Mel went up the Hill,
To fetch a crooked Congress.
Don fell down and lost his Crown,
And Mel came tumbling on her ass.
I see no reason
Why Trumpist treason
Should ever be forgot.
Un-for-tun-ate-ly
Congress lost the plot.
Trumpstein Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
Trumpstein Bridge is falling down,
My Dear Ladies,
No Trumps! No Trumps!
I introduce Vice Charlatan Vance,
Who
decided to take a big chance.
He married a liar named Shitler,
Who
once he had called Herr Hitler,
What a wonderful MAGA Bromance!
Great Fatsby achieves a new low,
Whenever he puts on a show,
At His Christofascist bordello,
That pile he calls Mar a Lago,
A gold and turdish farrago.
There once was a prince name of Andy,
Who reputedly leaned towards randy.
Prince Andy fell down,
And off went his crown,
Isn't this story just dandy?
Hey kids! come along to Mr. Trumps’ Neighborhood
You bet you should, and I promise I’ll be good.
My friends Jeff and Ghislaine will make you free.
We’ll have such fun at Epstein Island By the Sea.
Zionists and Nazis, you're the same,
There's simply no one else to blame.
You kill and starve all ages, sexes,
And joyfully you love to vex us.
A cursed bunch of poor pretenders,
You talk as if you're our defenders.
Carrying out the will of God,
While stealing other people's sod.
Off
THE BALLAD OF WHISKEY PETE
Gridley, you may fire when ready,
God man, why's your hand unsteady?
Fire the missiles, Pete's ordered it!
I must tell Hegseth they've been hit.
But Admiral, can't you see?
They're only fishing boats to lee;
We'll blow them all to smitheries,
Just as we did at Wounded Knee.
Gridley, dammit, move aside,
Such cowardice I can't abide.
Killing drug lords is our job,
So missiles at them we must lob.
I'll press the button and send
Them on their way to wend.
Watch them blaze across our bow,
That's it -- the battle's over now.
Oh, damn, some are still alive!
Pete said no one should survive,
Another salvo'll do the trick,
Send them down to bad Old Nick.
Our God FOTUS will be clapping,
Lots of backs he'll be slapping,
Put some lefties in the pen,
Gridley, America's Great Again.
Look! Up in the sky!
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No, its Super-King!
He's just the thing!
Come to save us
From evil lefties.
Oh, shit!
Behold! The Epstein Files,
Chock full of pedophiles.
What rhymes with Orange?
It used to be Brown.
Today, it's black.
12/19/2025
Chicago, Blues Brothers Town,
Where ICE will be a'goin' down.
Chicago, City of Broad Shoulders,
Will not welcome rebel soldiers.
Chicago, Noble Windy City,
Will crush Orange Turd the Shitty.
Chicago, Chicago, Toddling Town,
Will in its river fascists drown.
The Epstein Hoax is such a Joke!
Says Agent Trump a'snortin' Coke,
I know the truth believe you me,
Ask Madame Maxwell, yes siree,
At Epstein Island by the Sea.
The FBI hired me to show,
That Epstein ran a bordello.
I love tariffs, they're so good for me,
Slap them on all countries, they are my enemy.
Tariffs with my coffee, tariffs with my tea,
Send me golden trinkets to match my golden pee,
I love to threaten tariffs when I am on TV.
I like my women on the younger side,
12 to 17 I can abide.
Epstein stole the best from me,
But still I had a bigly spree,
At Epstein Island by the sea.
There once was a FOTUS most arrogant
Who spewed nonsense incredibly arrant
His mind is quite broken
His knowledge mere token
And his brain like a wrinkled currant.
This fellow named Trump is quite comical
With words he is not economical
They flow from his rump
Like a fast-flowing dump
What a marvel he is anatomical.
God has sent us a wonderful gift
To save us all from devilish drift
He may be a rapist,
A crook, and a racist
But God knows we're not very swift.
(Thanks to Trumpgelicals for inspiring this poem)
Trump's a fascist his critics declare.
Trump says my MAGATS don't care.
In fact, they quite like it.
No way shall I drop it,
When my fascism they all share.
There once was a FOTUS named Trump
Who called the White House a dump.
"There's no golden potty
It's driving me dotty
I guess I will just have a hump."
Trump wanted to buy Greenland I've heard.
Denmark said, "that's completely absurd."
His deal thus upended,
Herr Trump was offended,
And acted once more like a turd.
