Thursday, 16 June 2016

Guns and Amerikan Kultur, Revised Version

Blessed be the Second Amendment of the US Constitution. Your well regulated militia is on the job, defending America against bad guys, standing guard over your safety and freedom. Just what our Founding Fathers intended. Our Founding Mothers would have agreed, if they had any say in the matter.

What's that? Oh, you say the Second Amendment dates from a time when only single shot guns existed, like these:

You say that the Founding Fathers had no idea that the "well regulated militia" might be carrying semi-automatic weapons, like these: 

All the better to protect you against the bad guys, my dears. And if everyone had one of the above, we'd all be safer, you betcha. These beauties are dandy for shooting hordes of vermin, too. Think of the impression you can make when entering a restaurant, bar, shop, school, etc. And you don't need big hands to operate one.

Everyone knows that guns don't kill people. People kill people. That's why we send soldiers into battle unarmed or at most armed with spoons, which are also good to eat with. US soldiers used spoons in the war against revolting Filipinos effectively in 1900-02. In the aftermath of one battle, a soldier wrote home, "we gave them the long spoon." It's what they called the bayonet, which as you are no doubt aware, is not a gun. So let's stop blaming guns for people's deaths. 

We always hear that countries with strict gun control have much fewer gun deaths than the US. Maybe, but they have a lot more spoon deaths. Spoons are much more dangerous than guns. 

It is a fact that mass shootings are a mental health problem, not a gun problem. It's unfortunate that the US has more crazy people than other countries, but there you go.

In spite of the above facts, the uninformed will persist in blaming guns for piles of dead people. The best response is to comfort them with your thoughts and prayers, and remind them of the blessed protection afforded the US by Amendment 2, verse 2, as interpreted by the priests of the holy NRA. Look it up in the Bible.



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I just tweeted a link to this blog. No disrespect meant, but I tried to write something to get folks to read this. Hope it works!

  3. Hmmm. Mental Health. The President diagnosed the recent Texas killings in the same way. May be. From my pov people who find themselves so unattached to others, incapable of empathy or compassion define the alienated person. I don't think alienation is listed on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as published by the American Psychiatric Association other than "Parental alienation", which, I believe, is a species of child abuse. (No psychiatrist I, this comes from googling.)
    So is "alienation" the "mental health problem" you're talkin about? And if so, should it be listed in DSM? Or does ones' alienation from other human beings provide fertile ground for motivation to kill simply because the targets are not you and you have no attachment to humans? We're all alienated from rats, so we kill them with ease. Is it the same? I think this is important because I suspect that alienation is more like a disease related to culture or society. Anger.