Join ICE! Save Amerika! Kill Americans! Make Money!

Do you get kicks out of kicking and dragging people out of their houses or cars without a warrant? Do you get thrills from separating children from their parents and sending them to concentration camps? Do you like to shoot people whose  "crime" is helping others? Do you get off watching films of the Nazi death camps? Do you want to make good money doing all these things? 

A job with ICE can make your dreams come true! Your country needs you -- bigly-- to defend American Culture from people who are not like us. PEDOTUS Trump says that criminals, thugs, and rapists have infiltrated the pure body of our great nation. It is time to take the gloves off and show them how Americans deal with this poison in our bloodstream - - by behaving like criminals, thieves, and rapists. 

The objects you seek are easy to find. Most have Hispanic or Haitian  names, brown or black skins, and dark eyes and hair. They are especially numerous in Californication, Minneasocialist, Chicagoillanoise, and Portlandoregasm. 

I know you are eager to serve your country without reward. But if you join ICE you will receive a signing bonus of up to $50,000, a salary between $50,000 and $90,000, and performances bonuses of $10,000 a year. And you wanted to be a teacher, a nurse, a policemen or a fireman! Don't be a loser like those in the Army!

In addition to the big bucks, you get a package of federal benefits, including all health care, that will free you from the anxieties that keep loser Americans working at shitty jobs they hate. We know you despise higher education, but ICE will pay off your student loans if you the misfortune to have any. 

If this isn't enough to tantalize you, you get a black balaclava to hide your identity, a bullet proof vest with the letters ICE emblazoned across the chest, and a shiny badge in gold plate, modelled after Trump's potty. 

And did we tell you? ICE is waiving the age requirements. We will take you from 18 to Joe Biden. In fact, there are no requirements to join other than a criminal record or proof of being in the mob attacking the Capitol Building on January 6, 2021.

And here's the biggest bonus of all: an autographed photo of PEDOTUS with his good friends Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. 

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

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