Ladies and gentlemen, I present His Majesty and Savior, The God-King. The divine instrument of the Lord, chosen to lead America to the Promised Land of Dumbfuckistan via Proposition 2025. Dumbfuckistan has NEW RULES. 1. Worship the God-King. 2. Obey all orders of the God-King. 3. All other rules are hereby repealed.
The God-King's road to total power as POTUS 47 was greatly smoothed by the six SUPREME SAINTS of SCOTUS. They have ruled that he can do anything he wants, from stealing classified documents and inciting insurrection, to rape, bribery, theft, and pedophilia. His powers include shooting someone on Fifth Ave -- if he is president.
In his quest to unify the USA, the God-King chose as his vice-president a man dedicated to the values of GOD's people. The Senator from O-WHY-O defends the peaceful tourists who wanted to visit the capitol on January 6, 2021 and carry away souvenirs, including a few heads. He is a fighter for LIBERTY, who would deny women control over their own bodies and the right to leave abusive husbands "for the sake of the kids." He denounces Social Security and Medicare because they make people lazy state leeches.
Senator ADVANCE denounced the God-King a few years ago as "America's Hitler" and "an idiot." But that was before GOD sent the senator an epiphany on the Road to Washington, a donation from a billionaire MAGAt, and polls showing Trump was likely to win. Like St. Paul, ADVANCE is now on the side of the "Angels" of Trump.
Many Americans feel confused. How should they respond? They need advice, and I am here to give it. Lie back, spread your legs or buttocks, and repeat, "MAGA!" GOD has been preparing you for this miracle, but you have been blind. You followed the PATH of SIN. Now HE has shown you the PATH of RIGHTEOUSNESS. MAGA! JOIN, OR DIE, Or both.
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