A Trump Piss-Potpourri

 I love tariffs, they're so good for me, 

Slap them on all countries, they are my enemy.

Tariffs with my coffee, tariffs with my tea,

Send me golden trinkets to match my golden pee, 

I love to threaten tariffs when I am on TV. 

I like women on the younger side,

13 to 17, those I can abide. 

Epstein poached 'em from me, 

But I still had quite a spree, 

Down at Epstein Island by the sea.

I've had my share of women

Some were eager beavers

Some required "persuading"

Some played hard to get

But I am not a loser

I never fail to score.

Just one more time

Just one more time

Not like last time

One/six ya know

I have the cops NOW

And the soldiers too.

I am flying off to Russia,

To meet Boss Vlad

"They" say Alaska

But I know better, 

I have my sharpie

If I mark it Russia, 

It will be Russia

Wait till you see Zelenskyy's face!

There once was a POTUS most arrogant

Who spewed nonsense incredibly arrant

His mind is quite broken 

His knowledge mere token

And his brain like a wrinkled currant.  

This fellow named Trump is quite comical

With words he is not economical

They flow from his rump 

Like a fast-flowing dump

What a marvel he is anatomical.

God has sent us a wonderful gift
To save us all from devilish drift
He may be a rapist,
A crook, and a racist
But God knows we're not very swift.
(Thanks to Trumpgelicals for inspiring this poem)

Trump's a fascist his critics declare
Trump says my MAGATS don't care
In fact, they quite like it
No way shall I drop it
When my fascism they all share.

There once was a POTUS named Trump
Who called the White House a dump.

"There's no golden potty

It's driving me dotty
I guess I will just have a hump."

Trump wanted to buy Greenland I've heard, Denmark said "that's completely absurd." His deal thus upended Herr Trump was offended And acted once more like a turd.